Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
