Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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