Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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