dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
