walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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