yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
