haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
be right there i have to get my cape
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
