I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
