I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So many bounce houses so little time
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
