Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The maid of honor just puked.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
