....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
