Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
