I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
The Olympian is in my bed
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
