i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
