Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
