I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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