You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Randomize
