my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
