we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so explain again why im purple
no
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
