Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
