My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
