it was like his penis was on wheels.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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