you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
