i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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