ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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