Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
