You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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