Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize