You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I feel like abortions should bother me more
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Sober January is a disaster.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
