Welp...herpes.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
