can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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