it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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