roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
