well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
