Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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