NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize