oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
