Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I should be sponsored by Trojan
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
