Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize