please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
