do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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