i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize