Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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