capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
