As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
