New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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