margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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