OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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