What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
All I want is dick and wine.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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