I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
