New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize