i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize