I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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