I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
