god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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