Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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