At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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