I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
