Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
