is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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